a particle

Sometimes, the smallest things take

up the most room in your heart.

this feeling is helpless

i was drifted in between
like I was on the outside looking in
in my dreams you are still here
like you've always been.

al-fatihah.

on going

you're scared; it shows

been there anyway.

we don't need to go that far

let's hold on to where we are

if it's real we'll make it through

cause all I need is you:)

p/s : you're not prepared to be in love with me.

just pay

some don't have the patience,
some call me high-maintenance
but you pay the bill
because that's the deal.

: )

it's just a feeling

..
...
uninspired;
i feel expired.

sem ni kena ambil Arabic III. (die)

p/s : dah macam roti pulak ada pakai expired bagai.


Obsessed, depressed at the same time 

I can't even walk in a straight line

I've been lying in the dark; no sunshine.

: ♫

Runaway

cause at 4am, when the sweat sets in
did you get my message?

did it send?

or did you just get on with your life?
(mf)

Eau de Parfum

my dear friend, Cha'a, had been nosy about buying some fragrances. so i thought i'd give her a little help. ; ]
she kept her nose on Burrberry : The Beat. way to go hon!

i've had The Beat around 2008, along with every other perfume that i owned. hehe

these are parts of the bottles that i finds within my grasp. 

the others is someplace elsewhere, i guess. 

besides Burrberry, i've had experience a fun fragrance time with quite a few names..

Gucci : Envy Me

Nina Ricci [yang red apple],

Ralph Lauren : Ralph Wild

Chanel : No 5

The Body Shop : Chymara

The Body Shop : Rougeberry

Elianto : Silky

etc..

my favourite is Burrberry : The Beat. so i do recommend intensively that my dear friend to buy this instantly. ; ]

The Beat has a very feminine smell, so far that i know it's the coolest fem smell from Burrberry. it's feels so young, energetic, vigour, expressive, dynamically uplifting spirit when you put the drops onto your body. it's carnal, slightly wild-they claimed. but those are the usual nonsense. ; ] this is about energy, about attitude. it puts yourself forward, so far i've felt.

i like the packaging, it's shapes like a hip flask and etched with a Burrberry plaid. cute. when i got it, the perfume is together with a body lotion. smells great too. ahhaa now it's not a wonder anymore why i always smells so great. ; ]]

another bottle that i'd put my money on with no regret is 

Ralph Lauren : Ralph Wild. 

the tag goes like this : 

Welcome to the wild state,

where the air is fresh and juicy,

skin is warm and alluring,

and you can let your true self run free...

Go Ralph Wild.

aimed at the younger generation, once again i feel young and hip. though its name is Ralph Wild, but i think this particular perfume stays at the comfort zone with no wildness happening. nothing really edgier. but it's nice, worth buying and won't let you down..hopefully. it's totally wearable and super pleasant. you'll love it. (:


another bottle would be Gucci : Envy Me. pink bottle for pink hearts, together with a body lotion. totally wearable, pleasant, sweet, youngly energetic. you'll feel skimpy and happy wearing it. it's sort of revealing self. it fits with the tittle "Envy Me". kan? aaahh what do you expect from a Gucci? you'll be super fine and loving it entirely. (:

Time Capsule

Dear 30yr old Amira,

How are you today? Oh you've grown to be a 30yr old woman now! Glad to re-read this post again? How time flies. *smiling; hands clapped once, hold it together and put to the chest, then playing with the pendant* Ow do you still wear the silver heart-flowery-carved pendant? Or your husband had given you a rhombus-shaped diamond pendant to give it a go with a platinum necklace? hehey Too much to asked for yeh? But before you answer those questions, are you even married? *grasping the breath* Yes? Err.... is your husband now a Malay man? hehehehehe Remember your old Saudi boyfriend and all of the foreign men as well as the Malays you've engaged with? gosh You did all that even before you're twenty! You sure do know how to trick hearts. hah-ha. *hands waving the air twice, right side* And do you remember how fickle you were? Errr future husband, please just smile and say nothing if by chance you're reading.

Is it Saturday today? You've always loved the sunny Saturday aite since you always go hang out on a clear sunny Saturday. Do you still go to your favorite malls? Do the malls still standing? How's Midvalley and KLCC doin? Still crowded with peeps? *exhaling* Malls...always filled with humans possessing too much money. Are you still a shoe-shopping kinda person? ARE YOU STILL A SHOPPAHOLIC? No? haha Hard to believe if you're not. *winking*

How's your last birthday? Glad to be thirty? Is it a blast, or you've toned down the celebration since *fake cough* you're aging *fake cough*.  ; ]

How's your job? Are you a lecturer? Oh please tell me you still love to teach. No? A writer then? No? omg a domestic engineer??! hahahahha Hell no aite, there's no way you're jobless. I'm pretty sure you're enjoying your personal life together with a job to match.

Oke, don't jump. D o - y o u - s t i l l - w e a r - M ? ? Please say yes. haha Remember how frenzy you'll go if your beloved kebayas won't fit?  Or the times when your jeans just..ermm.. needed some space so your thighs may breathe? hahaha Funny is it, how these things clouded your mind and went frantic.

How's your graduation? Got a bunch of photos to treasure? Did you get Cha'a to do it for you? heeee How's Dhilah, Sheeqa, Zara, Karem, Keypinx, and Syazwan? How's Afiq and Mus?  Friend forever still? How's the other BENL family ?Oh do you still go hang out - just the three of you (you, Afiq & Mus) - to breathe some smoke in? i'm sure you remember the good ol times I'M HAVING RIGHT NOW. heh

How's your mobile phone? Your iPod? Your laptop? All new? I guess it's a yes since those stuff won't last for 10 yrs. Do you still get Pali as your online getaway technician? Is he married? Did you get your VVIP seat? hehehe. Whoa, alotta to answer huh. Please blame your 20yr old self for wondering too much bout the future. Anyway this is only what your 20yr old self do when the time needs to be killed.

Last, but no least...how's family? How's Abang? Did he marry his girlfriend? Did Iha join the pilot guys and marry a fabulous-ab guys who's taller than her? hahah Did you, Amira, gained a few more inches? Or you just depended on the stilettos? : ] No? Yes?  ; ] heheh. How's the others?
Whatever it is, I'm sure you're gonna be just fine and great. No, you're not dead since you're reading this now aite. And i  know that you didn't delete your blog account since - again - you're reading this.

To the 30yr old Amira, please live well and great, have fun.

Lots of love,
Amira Syakira Abd Razak.
0003 Dec 5 2010

p/s : pray that I'll make it thru to re-read this. God, save me till then.

dua puluh tiga

beberapa bulan lalu aku tanam tiga benih pokok limau. aku letaknya di luar, berdekatan dengan pintu kaca luncur yang agak lutsinar-cuma gelap sedikit, senang untuk kulihat dari dalam rumah. dibantu sinar mentari, ia tumbuh sihat agak pantas. tapi hujan dan angin kencang sejak akhir-akhir ini telah mematahkan pucuk  yang berada di tepi bahagian kiri. sayang- masih muda dan hijau. yang patah itu pula yang paling tinggi tumbuhnya. ibuku yang sedang bersandar di tepi meja dapur di bahagian belakang rumah juga perasan akan keadaan ini, tergaris senyum tipis di bibirnya. ibu lantas melaung, "ahh itu tak akan kemana-mana. patah habis saja yang sudah bengkok itu. dengan itu pucuk yang baru akan naik menggantikan yang kau akan patahkan itu.

aku teragak-agak untuk melakukan itu. jadi aku tinggalkan ia sebegitu saja. sayang, pucuk itu masih hijau, masih punya nyawa gamaknya.

tidak lama selepas aku membiarkannya, aku lihat yang ianya mulai jatuh tersujud ke tanah. beban yang patah itu mengakibatkan keseluruhan pokok tersembam. yang dua lagi disebelahnya seakan gembira menghijau memacu ke atas. tiada tanda akan tunduk ke bawah.
ahh... memang sepatutnya dari awal lagi aku ikut nasihat ibu. patutnya di situ aku letak satu titik akhir. jikalau aku patah habis sejak dari dulu, kemungkinan besar pucuk baru yang akan megah berdiri di hadapan ku ini. bukan satu pokok yang layu... tapi, aku masih diam memerhati. belum dapat memutus sama ada mahu patahkan habis atau tidak.

itu kerana aku tidak dapat patahkan perasaan ini. tidak dapat letak satu titik akhir.

Nani

3 Dec

used to be

between dawn and nightfall you motioned away, i weep not

i reckon not to discern such suffer

till i witnessed an unknown, that was thee.

alter will be naught, could it?

because hours seize back; in a path

things deemed thee possessed.

noted not on thy lad -

used to be.

the very one lost when thou let go.

p/s i wrote a crap  today.

(post Romeo and Juliet reading session)
(picture creds to Dina, thx for drawing.)